Everything I need to know, I learned from my Daddy

The old man turns 60 today, so in his honor, here is a list of 60 things I learned from him:

1: Never be a molly Mormon. It is the worst possible scenario. (I think this attitude comes from growing up in a family of 9 kids with a mom who spent too much time at Relief Society!)

2: If you eat/like rice and pasta you are disgusting and gross

3: Do not make a casserole or sloppy joes for dinner

4: BYU and their fans SUCK

5: If you can't change your own oil or your own tires, you are not a real man

6: If you borrow or use something that isn't yours, return it better than you found it.
7: When someone doesn't agree with you, they are a jackass
8: Don't just love your spouse, love to be around them and enjoy their company! (My mom and dad have been caught skinny dipping while checking water on the farm.)

9: Men should never wear shorts

10: Men do NOT get sick

11: If you sleep in past 8:00, you are a scumbag

12: To start off the morning right you must hum something really annoying

13: Pork fat rules

14: In order to enjoy a sporting event on TV you must yell, scream, and call people names

15: If you really love someone, you give them a nickname. Here are some of mine: Lulu, susanna rosanna danna, suisie Q, punkin, miss ann, and lu lu belle. My kids are respectfully: bugs, sis, j ba dee, and hankie pankie

16: If you really love someone you make up silly songs about them or strange cat calls. My dad used to sing LUU LUUUUUUU at all hours of the day for no apparent reason. I had several friends that thought we had a dog named Lu Lu who was frequently missing.

17: Boys do not have long hair or earrings

18: Babies rule, He absolutely loves babies and kids, but you should probably only have 2 or 3

19: Disneyland/world is the greatest place on earth
20: If you take away a babies binky or their bottle and they still would like it, you are a heartless wench

21: Peeing on your potato field makes the crop grow better

22: Don't be a kiss up or a brown noser

23: Fishing on Henry's Lake ALL day long is always fun, even if you run out of food, aren't catching anything, and everyone else is miserable

24: Everyone should want to take the ENTIRE family on every vacation they ever go on (sorry mom)

25: If you don't want to take all your kids/grand kids every where you go then you are a selfish jerk.

26: It is truly better to give than to receive.

27: Be honest. It is not OK to cheat a school, at work, at play, or cheat someone out of anything just because you can. It is never worth it!

28: Treat your mother with respect!

29: Attend all weddings, showers, birthday parties, etc. for friends and family cause that is just what you do, whether you want to or not

30: People are more important than possessions or pets

31: Do not ask people how much money they make or tell others how much you make

32: If you buy flowers for your wife too often then they don't mean as much and you are probably a pansie

33: Hugging and saying I Love you is for weirdoes

34: When shopping always apply the price per wear concept: example, Do not buy the neon green shirt just because it is 2 dollars. Buy the more expensive/conservative one that you will wear out.

35: Laugh

36: Hey Jude is the greatest song ever written

37: HBO is not evil (although I still vehemently disagree)

38: 57 Chevy's, mustangs, Harley Davidson's, and Chevy SSRs rock!

39: Car shows are a fun way to get out of church

40: There is no better way to fall asleep than with a baby or child in the crook of your arm

41: Share! It is no fun at all if you are not sharing everything you have or have ever gotten with those you love

42: Party...people who like to hang out by themselves are lame and boring

43: Always carry candy. Juicy fruit gum is a great choice or anything sticky and messy!

44: Go to school and go to church

45: Neil Diamond is the greatest performer of all time

46: Get a job, work hard, be involved, and have an opinion

47: Never be late for work or come home early

48: Always have dessert or microwave popcorn on hand for emergencies

49: Its OK to skip church on vacation, in fact it is kind of a requirement and if you don't you are kind of a molly mormon

50: Complain about every meal...no really just find something to complain about :)

51: Clear the table and clean out the dishwasher

52: Brush your teeth and shower EVERY day

53: You can find it on Ebay

54: Kids need 4 wheelers and bikes

55: Hunting is only fun until you have to clean out the animal

56: You should only ever drive a white truck

57: Tractors are cool and red is best

58: You should be born with the knowledge of how to drive a 10 wheeler, and if you need it explained to you then you are a moron

59: Love and look up to your father and grandfather

60: There's no better time spent than time with family

I love you daddy! Happy birthday and here's to many many more!